T: Now, so -- in connection again with feeling obsessed.
Earlier when I asked you about -- well, first you said you want to get clear about
whether you want in or out (
C: Mm-hm) as one of
the main goals you want out of our work together (
C:
Mm-hm) and when I asked you about that, it seemed like you went to the
next level down about what
that means and said, well, you
want to stop being obsessed. (
C: Mm-hm.) And then, when I
asked you about
that you said -- well, you said two things that
I latched onto. (
C: Mm-hm.) You said you want to be more at
peace about living without that primal connection. That's what it --
that sounded to me like
you were explaining what it would mean to be not obsessed.
C: Yeah.
T: Yeah. So that was another level down into the meaning of not
being obsessed.
C: Mm-hm.
T: Good. And also, one other connection was that you said
something about, "never again having it be this way." And I wasn't
quite clear about what you meant there, and it seemed important.
C: I think I was talking about sort of never again -- feeling
that I'm never going to have that kind of connection.
T: With anyone.
C: With anybody again.
Commentary: By persistently clarifying the differences
sought by the client, her specific symptoms have been identified:
her "primal," "in-utero" connection while in her couple relationship;
her ongoing, painful pursuit
of her rejecting former lover who left her two years ago; and her sense
of powerlessness to exit this ordeal, as she wants to do with the
therapist's help.
Exercise: With
the client's presenting symptoms identified, what does the Coherence
Therapy therapist do next? Answer the following four true/false
questions. For each question, click on "TRUE" or "FALSE" to see if your
answer is correct.
1. Next, the therapist forms a
hypothesis about the themes and purposes making up the client's
pro-symptom position (psp).
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2. Next, the therapist sets up an experience of some resource that the
client has, but has not applied to the presenting symptom or problem.
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3. Next, the therapist sets up an experience for the client, designed to
reveal to the therapist how the presenting symptom is necessary to have.
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4. Next, the therapist explores early attachment and separation
experiences that underlie her need for "in utero" symbiosis.
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* * *
T: So you know what I'd
like to ask you to do -- I don't know if this is possible right now,
but I'd like to take a look with you if whether it's possible -- I
wonder if you could knowingly let yourself sort of flop over into the
side of you that feels and says, "No, I will
not let go of this."
Commentary: To begin the discovery process, the therapist has invited her to
entertain a simple, explicit verbalization of her unwillingness to let
go of her ex-lover -- a variation on the overt statement
technique so useful in Coherence Therapy. The aim is to usher her into
experiences of her own position in which staying attached is
compellingly necessary.
C: Okay. You mean, for
purposes of today.
T: Yes.
C: Okay.
T: For purposes of exploring that area of your feelings.
C: Okay.
T: Knowing all along that it's not the whole truth.
C: Right.
T: That there's a lot of other sides (
C: Right.) that you've been pointing to.
But I'm interested in looking into this one right now.
C: Okay.
Commentary:
In saying, "You mean for purposes of today," client signaled some
discomfort and reluctance over the therapist's invitation
to own her pro-symptom position verbalized as, "No, I will
not let go of this." To the therapist this appeared to be conscious
resistance to "shadow" material -- that is, client is aware of her unwillingness
to embrace material at odds with her conscious identity and values. The
therapist responded with one of Coherence Therapy's approaches for
working with this type of resistance, the only a part
technique, which preserves the integrity and dignity of the client's conscious
self-image when the discovered material diverges too uncomfortably from
it. The material becomes tolerable if both therapist and client share
the understanding that it does not characterize the client's whole
self. Notice that the therapist respected her resistance and yet did
not collude with it. Then, seeing that her resistance eased in response
to "only a part," the therapist will next return to inviting her to feel and own this
position, by verbalizing even more fully what the client has already
communicated of it.
T: So, yeah, see if
you can, as you just started to do, sink into
that
position in you, of, of feeling, "I can't let this go. I will
not
let this go. This is too -- too valuable, too important, too precious,
and I'll
never find it again the way I had it."
(
C: Mm-hm.) And,
"No."
[Silence.] You look like you're in
touch with it. Are you -- is it there? Do you
have that?
C: Let's go ahead and let's see -- let's pretend it is and see if I can -- [Laughs].
T: Okay. From that place, I'd like you to finish this sentence:
"If I let this end--"
I'd like you just to say those words, hit the blank, and let whatever
comes up finish the sentence, without pre-thinking it.
Commentary: With the client skeptical but now willing to open to her compulsively
attaching position, the therapist here is using the sentence
completion technique in a simple but very direct attempt to bring
that position to light. "If I let this end" is a phrasing likely to
evoke a response from a position that urgently wants to prevent an
ending -- the client's pro-symptom position.
T: [Long pause.] Looks
like pre-thinking is going on.
C: Yeah. [Laughs.] I'm sorry. I don't know how to do that.
T: Just start, just mechanically say the words, "If I let this
end--"
C: If I let this end--
T: And what's there now?
C: [Pause.] Um-- [Pause.]
T: First thing.
C: [Teary and choked-up.] It's there -- I just have to get to say it. I lose me. [Pause.] Hnh.
Commentary: This moment illustrates the discovery experience that
Coherence Therapy produces. As a result of a simple but
carefully tailored experiential technique, material that is part of the
client's unconscious, pro-symptom position has
surfaced into conscious awareness, after initial
resistance. "Experiential" work is widely stereotyped as
dramatic, cathartic, and a big production, but here the truer nature of
experiential work is apparent: It consists of the client simply
bringing attention to and feeling an important emotional truth never before
visited by conscious attention.
In neurobiological terms, the client's pro-symptom position exists in
the emotional brain's implicit memory systems -- such as those in the subcortical limbic system and the right cortical hemisphere -- which form, hold and apply all
emotionally intense knowledges and schemas. The discovery work in
Coherence Therapy elicits a response from the implicit
pro-symptom material that shows up in the client's conscious awareness, revealing the
content of the symptom-requiring material. This client's
sudden awareness of the sentence-completing words "I lose me"
exemplifies the discovery experience.
Commentary: Here, pro-symptom material surfaced in the client's first completion of
the sentence fragment. Sometimes several repetitions of the same
sentence fragment are needed before pro-symptom elements emerge
(typically after some anti-symptom endings, such as, "If I let this
end, I'd feel so much better"). Repetitions are best practice also because
they often elicit more than one pro-symptom position -- distinctly
different ways in which the symptom is necessary to have.
Commentary: An error made by some Coherence Therapy
novices is to attempt discovery
of pro-symptom material by asking the client explicit questions
about how the symptom is necessary to have. This is both futile (the
material is truly unconscious, so the client cannot possibly provide
useful answers, and some counterproductive responses are likely)
and indicates a lack of understanding that the discovery work occurs
through prompting experiences (such as by using sentence
completion as just illustrated), not through asking cognitive questions.
T: Do you know what
that means?
C: I don't know. No, I don't think so.
Commentary: "I lose me" is the emergence of pro-symptom material entirely new to
the client's conscious, neocortical framework, so the therapist did not
assume that the living meaning of these key words is apparent to her yet. The
video will next cut to 7 minutes later in
the same session, when the discovery work continued to uncover what "I
lose me" means.
END OF VIDEO PART A
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